Benevolence
by MiseryBusiness
Summary: My take on how Harry Potter came to existence. Following James and Lily, 7th year mostly. J.K. Rowling left a lot to the imagination.
1. Chapter 1: Memories and a Man

**A/N – This story comes from a very bored author who home had been robbed and left with only a VCR along with 2 VHS; Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone, and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Don't criticize too hard please, this is just something I'm doing in my spare time.**

**I do not own anything that you recognize and all the memories in this chapter are from the great J.K. Rowling herself, they are not my own.**

----

Memories came flooding back to the red head as she lay there while sleep alluded her. Each memory merrging into another, creating a vivid tale that made up her not-so-simple relationship with her best friend.

**

The boy looked at the two girls with excitement.

"I know what you are," he said very low, as to not let the other one who was lingering by the swing set hear.

"What do you mean?"

"You're...you're a witch," he whispered.

The tiny girl he was talking to was angered.

"_That's _not a very nice thing to say to somebody!," She turned, head high, and began walking to the other girl.

**

The memory shifted to a memory of the boy and girl weeks later.

**

"How are things at your house?" She asked the boy she was sitting next to on the leaf-covered ground.

"Fine," he said.

"They're not arguing anymore?"

"Oh yes, they're arguing," the black-haired boy said.

"Severus?"

"Yes?"

"Tell me about the dementors again..."

**

The images faded. She felt bad of course,though it truly couldn't be her fault that the two men she loved hated each other. She didn't choose this.

She curled in close to the sleeping form next to her. He unconsciously wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in closer.

Yes, she had chosen who she could live without. It broke her heart truly, picking only one. But this man, the one she simple _couldn't_ live without, brought her comfort and happiness and stability, something the other could only try to bring.

Even with this knowledge, she couldn't help the memory that came flooding back to her of the other man.

**

"I thought we were supposed to be friends?" Severus had said. "Best friends?"

"We are Sev, but I don't like some of the people you're hanging around with! I'm sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev, he's creepy! D'you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?"

The girl, Lily, had leaned herself against a pillar, staring up into his thin, sallow face.

"That was nothing, it was a laugh, that's all --"

"It was Dark Magic, and if you think that's funny –"

"What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?" demanded Severus.

"What's Potter got to do with anything?" she asked.

"They sneak out at night. There's something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?"

"He's ill," Said Lily. "They say he's ill --"

"Every month at the full moon?" asked Severus.

"I know your theory" said Lily coldly. "Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they're doing at night?"

"I'm just trying to show you they're not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are."

Her voice dropped low. "They don't use Dark Magic, though. And you're being really ungrateful. I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow, and James Potter saved you from whatever's down there --"

Snape spluttered, "Saved? Saved?! You think he was playing hero? He was saving his neck and his friends' too! You're not going to – I won't let you --"

"Let me? _Let me?!"_

Lily's eyes, bright green, were slits now, her temper getting the best of her.

"I didn't mean – I just don't want to see you made a fool of – he fancies you. James Potter fancies you! And he's just not what everyone thinks he is."

"I know James Potter's an arrogant toe rag. I don't need you telling me that. But Mulciber and Averys idea of humor is just evil. _Evil, _Sev. I don't understand how you can be friends with them.

**

This memory dissolved, leading the woman into the only memory she wanted to truly bury. The memory that could tear her standing form to her knees and wrack her body with sobs. The memory that she treasured as much as she detested, for it was the last time she spoke to her best friend.

**

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath."

It was late. Lily stood in her dressing gown with her arms folded in front of her chest. She stood in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, the entrance to the Gryffindor Tower.

"I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you a mudblood, it just --"

"Slipped out?" There was no pity in her voice. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends – you see you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

Severus opened his mouth as if to speak, but closed it without muttering a word.

Then she muttered the sentence that had been on the tip of her tongue for weeks.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No, listen – I didn't mean --"

"-- to call me a mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

He struggled to speak, but Lily knew there was nothing more to be said. With a contemptuous look, she turned and climbed back into the portrait hole.

**

A lone tear escaped the present day Lily's eye. That was the last civilized – even if it was an argument – conversation she had had with her best friend. Though during the time she was more angered than anything, all she felt now was resentment for herself and extreme remorse whenever she thought of the memory. She missed her best friend.

A finger on her cheek wiping away her tear started her, and her eyes jumped to the mans whom as holding her. His eyes were questioning, and though he did not have his glasses on, he could tell she was upset.

"What's wrong?" he asked, sleep still evident in his voice.

Lily simply shook her head and pressed it into his chest, sighing deeply. The times were dark, no one was safe, but for some reason lying there with him made her feel as if she were the safest person in the whole world, muggle and wizarding alike.

He squeezed her closer to his frame, reassuring her of her last thought. He kissed the top of her head, mumbling "I love you."

She snuggled in as close as physically possible and whispered, "Love you more, James." And with that she closed her eyes in contentment, all because she was loved. The blessing of sleep came to her then, clouding her mind and allowing her brain and conscious rest.

----

**A/N: Very short and very little information on the plot, I know. I'm going to try to stick as close to the books as I can, but along with the fact that I'm not a Harry Potter major, (wouldn't that be awesome if they had that!?!) things are vaguely described in the books. This is just my own interpretation of the James and Lily saga that seems to be sweeping the Harry Potter world. [:**


	2. Chapter 2: Staying True

Lily stumbled blindly into the Gryffindor common room. She was angry. More than angry. She was _livid._ With Severus, yes, but even more with herself. For letting herself waste so many years protecting someone who didn't care fore her at all.

No, that was a lie. She knew Severus cared for her, that was just her damn temper speaking.

She threw herself on the empty couch that was in front of the dying fire. Heaving out a loud sigh, she sat there for several moments gathering her thoughts until she was interrupted by one of her closest friends, Alice.

"Lily?"

"Yes?" She said, rather irritated. Apparently it was evident in her voice because Alice looked dejected and turned to walk away. "No – Alice, I'm sorry. It's just....I just had a huge fight with...with Snape."

"Oh," She said, and sat down on a `chair nearest to the fire. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's not much to it. I told him we've chosen different paths, and tat we couldn't be friends anymore."

"Wow..so this is serious," Alice contemplated. She knew, along with everyone else, that Lily and Snape were constantly getting into fights, but never stopped being friends. Lily had even gone as far as calling him by his surname.

"I suppose," she sighed. Her anger was slowly diminishing. All she knew now was she knew nothing, and that she was tired.

"It will be fine Lily. It was time you two both went separate ways. He made you cry many more times than he made you happy."

But it didn't matter to Lily. Her and Sev—Snape shared something special. He taught her about the Wizarding world, and she taught him how to love and be loved. Both learned on each other and even relied on each other. It made no sense for them to allow silly things such as bloodlines and prejudices to get in their way now. But he had made his decision, and she hers.

"Well I just wanted to see if you were alright. I'm going to get to bed now." And with that Alice went up the stairs to the girls dormitory with a "good night" from Lily, who still sat idly on the couch.

It was time to forget Snape. Forget all the wonderful memories they had with each other. She detested the person he became, and she realized she'd been holding onto that childhood version of him for so long. She would forget him, alright.

–

--

"That stupid, arrogant prat!" Lily shrieked as she entered the Gryffindor common room 2 years later, her Head Girl badge pinned neatly on her robe.

Alice and Mary, whom were sitting at the table in the corner doing their Transfiguration homework, looked up at their distraught friend.

"What happened?' asked Mary as she put down her quill.

"Potter," Lily spat the name. "We were being shown the heads dorm, and as soon as McGonagall left do you know what he said??"

"Enlighten us," Alice said, particularly bored with Lily's constant rants about Potter. They were a daily occurrence now.

"By the end of the year, I think we'll only need_ one_ bedroom," mimicked Lily, who had deepened her voice to sound more like a boy. "The _nerve_ of him, honestly!"

"You know Lily, you've been talking about Potter an awful lot lately." Alice said pointedly. Mary caught on. "Oh! Yeah, you really do. Ever since you heard about him being head boy in the summer."

"And you know...Remus and Black and Peter were there right after McGonagall left, like they already knew where – wait, what are you two on about?"

"Just that you fancy Potter."

"_What?!?_"

"Oh come off it Lily. It's obvious! You _know_ he's very handsome, and smart too. He's had top marks in Transfiguration for the last two years. He's extremely loyal to his friends, and --"

"Arrogant, rotten, spoiled," Lily began ticking off her fingers.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Lily, I know why you truly don't like James."

Lily's eyebrows raised high up on her forehead. "Oh?"

"Snape."

Lily's stomach dropped. That name still had an affect on her.

"You're still trying to play nice girl with him." Mary stated matter-of-factly.

"What? How so? I'm really not following this logic."

"Don't you see? Snape _hates_ James, and now you're denying yourself what you truly want simply because you want to stay true to Snape, even if neither of you are friends now."

"But I don't even want Potter," Lily said confusedly.

"When have you given him a chance? First year maybe, but that was so long ago. And yes he was a conceited jerk for the longest time, but Frank and I, we met up with James and Sirius at the Three Broomsticks while on break. He's changed so much, Lily. Don't look at me like that. Really, he has. I think mostly because of his parents."

"His parents?"

"Yea, they fell terribly ill over the summer. They're really really old, and they say that the two don't have much more time," Alice concluded.

"Oh," Lily didn't know what to say. It was unfortunate, but she still didn't have to give him a chance.

"When is the last time he's even gone out with a girl, Lily?" asked Mary. She knew just about everything about anyone. She could recite random facts about anyone, it was a gift, truly.

"I don't know," Lily replied, disgusted. Potters' romantic history was not a subject she followed thoroughly.

"Fifth year, Jordan Johnson, and he broke up with her right after the Incident." The Incident Mary referred to was the time in which Snape had called her a Mudblood, resulting in the loss of their friendship.

"What does that, or the thing with his parents have anything to do with it? I do not fancy Potter."

"Ugh...Lily you're really not that blind and stupid are you?"

Lily's eyebrows shot up her forehead.

"Sorry, but he _knows_ you and Snape are no longer friends. He realizes that he actually has a chance now. Not that he didn't try when you two _were_ friends, but now it's just that much easier."

"I'm not some prize to be won, Mary."

"Whatever, Lily," Alice interrupted. "The point is, don't let your stupid quarrel with Snape affect any other aspect of your life, especially your love life." And with that, they turned back to their homework they had abandoned when Lily had came in.

"Love life, brilliant," snorted Lily, and she went and laid down on the couch. Like hell she would be caught going back to the heads dorm with all those bloody Marauders there.

And Lily had too much to think about. Could she still be holding onto what Snape believed in? Maybe...but why? It's not like they were friends anymore. They never spoke, never looked each other in the eye.

And what about Jam—err, Potter. Was what Mary and Alice said true? Could he have changed? No..Lily doubted that. But when was the last time she actually paid attention to any of it?

--

–

By the time Lily reached the Heads dorm early next morning, she prayed Potter was done with the bathroom she was forced to share with him. The head dorms were conveniently located only minutes from both the Gryffindor tower and the Great Hall.

Though clearly, Potter was done with the bathroom. When Lily entered the common area, he was walking towards his room in nothing but a towel, a book he must have came out to grab in his right hand.

"Oh!," Lily exclaimed, turning her head, but couldn't help but taking a short, fleeting second look.

"Morning Love." He grinned largely, stopping in front of his door.

"Uh...er...morning, Potter."

He laughed loudly and walked back into his room and shut the door. Lily let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. It was Potter, yea, but he looked _good_. Suddenly she felt like _she _ may not be worth of _him._

With her head semi-clear, but definitely no more half-naked man standing in front of her, she yelled at him, "I'd appreciate it if you could keep your clothes _on,_ Potter!" She heard him laugh out loud again, and she couldn't help the smile that was playing on her lips as she went to her own bedroom and got ready for the day.

–

–

By the time Lily was ready to go, it was late. Too late to make it to breakfast, which irritated Lily.

"Stupid Potter, running me out of the dorms...making me late...no breakfast," she muttered to herself as she walked towards her first class of the day, Potions, down in the dungeons.

"Lily!" yelled the said person she had just been cursing in her head. She spun around and saw Potter running up to her. "Walk you to Potions?" He asked when he caught up to her.

"You're in Advanced Potions?" She asked, beginning to walk again. She couldn't afford to be late, especially on the first day.

"Yeah, why, is it that hard to believe?" He chuckled. "Here, I didn't see you at breakfast so I snagged you some toast. Hope that doesn't sound too stalkerish." He extended his arm and held out 2 pieces of toast neatly wrapped in a napkin.

Lily slowly grabbed the toast, examining it carefully.

Potter laughed. "Go on...I didn't jinx it or anything, if that's what you think." However, she was still careful, and took a bite, chewing slowly as they walked. She grabbed a strand of her hair, examining it to make sure it hadn't changed color. Then she glanced down at her still-black robes, just to be sure they hadn't changed colors as well.

She wouldn't have put it past Potter to have a vital piece of clothing _missing_ as well.

But alas, all was well.

Potter just continued walking, silently smiling broadly next to her.

"Er...thanks," She said, grateful for having some food.

"You eat a lot." James noted.

Lily coughed and choked on the bit of toast she had just been swallowing when Potter had made that statement.

It took him only a moment of Lily coughing to realize how someone – especially a female – would have taken that statement the wrong way. His eyes widened in realization.

"Oh! No no no! Evans I didn't mean it like that, I just --"

"You just what? Enjoy teasing me? For your information _Potter_, I rather like my size. As it is --"

"That's what I meant! I didn't mean it in a bad way. I like that about you." He spluttered, beginning to turn red. She didn't interrupt him so he kept going. "It's nice knowing there are some girls who know how to eat, and don't care what people think of them."

Lily contemplated if this statement he was saying were true, but seeing how red he got and..what was that..embarrassed? James Potter did not get embarrassed easily. In fact, Lily couldn't recall a time he _ever _let anything get to him like that.

"Er..thanks Potter..I guess," Lily said, turning red now as well. Never in her 7 years at Hogwarts had she seen James blush.

It startled Lily that they had reached the Potions room already. It was a rather long walk normally, and she hadn't even noticed she had been allowing Potter to lead the way. Would she dare say she was so _enthralled_ in their conversation she hadn't paid attention?

"How did we..." Lily trailed off.

Potter smiled one of his crooked smiles.

"Marauder," he simply said, tapping his temple with two fingers. Lily looked at him incredulously and walked into the dark potions room, Slughorn welcoming two of his favorite students warmly.

–

–

By the time lunch came round, Lily was definitely suspicious. Not only did Jam-- Potter-- walk her from class to class(they took both Advanced Potions _and_ Advanced Charms), but he was actually being _civilized._ This wasn't the Potter she had remembered.

Lily determined that her two best friends Mary and Alice had something to do with it. They had, however, sat with the Marauders during lunch that day before Potter and herself had even gotten there, so she could not talk with them there.

"Afternoon, Miss Evans," Black said nonchalantly. He stood up and bowed quite unceremoniously.

"Stuff it, Padfoot," James laughed and shoved his shoulder.

Lily smiled at the antics and sat across from the two and Pettigrew, in between Remus and Alice.

"Hey Remus," Lily smiled brightly at him. He was her favorite Marauder by far, even if he broke the rules and allowed his closest friends to run a mucus around the school. From the corner of her eye she could have sworn she saw Potter watching them, glaring at Remus slightly. She quickly shoved it to the back of her mind.

"Hello Lily, how did you enjoy Advanced Charms? I heard that class was pretty hard."

"It was great..not too hard at all. Though I didn't know James was so good at charms. He was brilliant," Lily turned and smiled at him. The moment Lily had said his name, both Alice and Mary choked on their food. Sirius, who had been taking a sip of pumpkin juice, spluttered it out on Pettigrew, and Remus' eyebrows shot up on his forehead. James just smiled broadly, obviously pleased with himself.

"Where..." cough. "did _that_ come from?" Alice spluttered, still choking on her food. So her and Mary weren't apart of James being so nice.

"Well, James and I are both Heads, so it's perfectly normal to be on a first name basis with someone you have to interact so closely with. He calls me by my first name."

"But you _complimented_ him," Sirius informed her.

"Brilliant observation, Black." Lily rolled her eyes. "He _is_ brilliant at Charms. I was just merely making a statement."

"Yea Sirius. You saying I'm not good at Charms?" James asked him jokingly. Sirius snorted.

"Lily Evans just called you by your first name _and _complimented you in the same sentence. Sirius Black will not comment on your abilities to perform magic!" He exclaimed, standing up, spotting the Ravenclaw girl he had been interested in since...well yesterday when he had spotted her at the welcoming feast, and walked over towards her.

The Gryffindors all laughed loudly at the outburst and Sirius' lack of concentration and continued to enjoy their lunch peacefully.

–

–

Severus had watched both Heads all day. It was what he had feared the most. Lily, his only best friend and true confidant throughout their childhood, was falling for the meddlesome idiot. How could she be so stupid. He still had feelings for the fiery red head, oh yes. They were perhaps stronger than ever. Nothing would stop those dreadful feelings he had for her.

He loved Lily. She was the only person who could look past his outward appearance, his clothes,his hair, and actually got to know him. She taught him compassion and how to love.

But more than anything, she was an amazing person. She was so kind to everyone and anyone, no matter how deserving.

And now she wasn't his anymore. She was never his, really, but how she was moving on and he wasn't...that was what truly hurt.

Severus envies potter for just that. Lily would love Potter, yes he could see that. Potter was a trickster, and a conniving one at that. He could easily make the trusting red head fall for him. As long as Lily could look past all the years of teasing and conceitedness.

And that would give Potter, the ungrateful, pigheaded, disgusting fool the one thing he wanted but could never have – Lily Evans.

–

–

The day continued not unlike the first half, and Lily was exhausted. She sat down at a table in the Gryffindor common room, still unwilling to share the Heads dorm with James. She was expecting Mary and Alice to show up in about an hour, so she began working on her Advanced Potions homework.

Apparently though, Lily would have had better luck avoiding James by going to the heads common room, because moments after she began working, all four Masqueraders strutted in, all talking extremely loud.

"Did you see his face? Bloody hell that was brilliant Prongs." Black exclaimed, plopping down not so gracefully onto one of the open couches.

James wasn't listening to his best mate though. He had spotted Lily and grabbed Remus by the arm of his robe quickly before he had the chance to sit down as well. James dragged Remus over and happily sat across from Lily.

"Ah, Lily, we meet again."

"Hello James, Hi Remus," Lily said curtly. She returned abruptly back to her work.

James looked at her funny. She had been so _nice _earlier. Remus nudged James, caught eye contact, and looked pointedly at the work in which had his fair Lily's attention.

"Ah...I see. No talking with Lily while she is at work." He pressed both hands flat on the table and raised himself, Lily looking up at him only with her eyes for a moment, a small smile playing on her lips, then again went back to her work.

James sauntered back to his friends along with Remus, and they began speaking in hushed voices with all four heads together in a circle.

–

–

And that was how the first few months of Hogwarts went. James getting to know Lily, and Lily learning to trust him a bit more and more as each day passed. Hogwarts was calm and at peace. Full of studying students and friendly banter.

But not all was what it had seemed. A dark shadow loomed over the Wizarding world when January finally rolled around. A shadow that threatened all students, faculty, and family members. And while people were turning to the dark side and being recruited younger and younger, no one remained safe.

This darkness is what brought the Marauders, Lily, Alice, and others to Dumbledore's office on the dreary Monday night in January.


	3. Chapter 3: The Order

**A/N – I'm terrible with updates. A little bit about the Order, James gets more serious(no pun intended) && Lily has a heart to heart with Remus.**

* * *

–

–

"As you all know, there is a certain dark wizard whom is going by the name Lord Voldemort that is gaining both power and followers at a rapid pace. A few murders have taken place, and since the ministry is doing nothing, it is time to step in and stop this evil power. Wizards should not have to live in fear for both themselves or their loved ones."

A short pause as the old man looked into the eyes of the ones sitting in front of him, examining both fear and determination.

"I ask you, each and every one of you, to think of everything that's been said here tonight. And I want you to decide. Understand that if you deny, no one will think any less of you. You may leave and will not be bothered again," Dumbledore spoke to the group of 7th year students.

"But if you choose to accept, be warned. Your life and the life of your loved ones will be at risk. I am sorry this has been brought on you at such a young age, but these are dark times. We must fight for our children future and the future of the Wizarding world."

The room was silent. It was full of select 7th year students and members that had already joined what Dumbledore had named the Order of the Phoenix. It was evident why he had chosen who he did. For their bravery, knowledge, loyalty, and other qualities each student possessed.

Each person contemplated Dumbledore's offer, though some had known what their decision would be the moment Dumbledore asked for help.

The group of Gryffindors, who sat off to the side, were a portion of those people. Each student had a strong sense of pride and decisiveness in their eyes. All except one.

Lily Evans sat silently dejected off to the side with Jam es Potters' arm around her shoulders. A purely friendly gesture, nothing more. He and all the other Gryffindors knew the torment that she was going though.

She was being ask to join a group that no only would go against her old friend Severus Snape, but would be targeted by him and his group as well. They were enemies now, but this would make it real. Official.

James, who had never liked Severus, could only imagine how it must be for Lily. He tried to put himself in the situation, as if Sirius had been in Snapes place, and himself in Lily's, but it just couldn't' fit. It was too unlikely for his best mate to be like that, and himself to even be in that position.

Instead he just held her close, allowing himself to be her crutch, even if only for the moment.

However, surprising everyone, even herself, Lily was the first to speak up.

"I want in," she said in a rather shaky voice. She had to fight for what was right. For the good side. She had to save the future of her children – that is, if she ever had any.

James squeezed her shoulders. He secretly dreaded her answer. If she said no, he'd fear she would feel ejected, but her saying yes made him feel even worse than he thought. The girl he loved was going to risk her life, and possible _die._

"Lily – you don't have to. Maybe it would be best --"

"No. This is the way I choose. This is my future." Lily shot him a confused look as his grip tightened even more around her when she spoke her rebuttal.

"It's _dangerous_ Lily. Don't feel like you have to do--"

"What do you mean?! Each one of you plan to join. There is no difference between everyone of you and myself." Lily half shouted at him, standing up and forcing him to release his grip on her.

Lily looked at Alice, but the brunette refused to look back, and instead kept her gaze on the floor, her hand clenched in Franks, her boyfriend.

"Alice?" Lily whispered to her best friend. Mary had not been asked to join. Alice slowly looked up at her friend, fear and anxiety evident in her eyes.

"Lily..I want you to do what's best for yourself...and if that means sitting out because of Snape...well--"

"I can't believe this!" Lily shrieked, her temper kicking in. "Professor Dumbledore, I would like to join. There's no reason I can't."

"Very well, Miss Evans," He replied with a smile and returned back to the group of 7th year Ravenclaws he had been speaking with.

"Lily, I just...I just don't think--"

"Oh stuff it. What do you know _Potter_." She spat the name, and he physically flinched back at the tone she used. She hadn't called him Potter except for when she was joking in months.

With that she stalked out of the room, her head held high.

"Now you've done it, Prongs," Remus sad from behind James, whom was standing there, staring at the door Lily just walked out of.

"I just..don't want her to..." James shook his head to clear his thoughts. "Never mind," and he walked up to the sheet in which everyone was signing to join.

He wrote down his name, and slowly, begrudgingly, wrote down Lily's. With one last glance at his friends, he walked out of the room quietly.

–

–

Lily was having a bad day. Not only did she just sign up against her best friend, but she yelled at James. _James._ Just the name gave her butterflies. But no, now that she had finally admitted that she _had_ been avoiding him all along because of Severus, she found it easier to like him. But she still felt a nagging in her chest whenever she saw Severus watching her.

That was something new, actually. Whenever Lily was with James, all she had to do was look up and Severus was there, anywhere, watching.

He had made his views clear about their relationship. He looked disgusted when he saw the two together.

She was now outside on the grounds, circling the lake. It was late, and she knew if she had been caught that she would be in trouble, but at the time Lily's' mind was not working clearly. She was confused. Did she like James? He was a troublemaker, yes. But he could be sensitive and caring, he had shown her that these past months.

But the spat they had earlier. Him not wanting her to join. Who did he think he was? She had her own mind, and her mind was telling her to fight. Fight for what was right in this world, fight to save who deserved to be saved.

"Lily," the voice had caught her off guard, and she had spun around her hand moving to her chest.

"Remus," she sighed.

"Are you alright?" he asked, moving closer and sitting down on a large flat, gray rock.

"Yes, fine Remus," She said in just above a whisper, also moving to the rock and sitting next to him.

"Lily, I've known you for seven years. We may not be the _best _ of friends, but I do know when you're lying. Plus you're terrible at it."

Lily let out a low chuckle.

"I was never that good of a liar. Even as a kid. My mum always knew when I did something wrong."

"So tell me, what's going on in the world of Lily Evans?" Lily contemplated this. What _was _going on her world? She took a breath and spoke.

"It's just – Well, I don't know how --" She stuttered, trying to get the ides in her head to form and make one coherent sentence.

"Go on, It's not like I'm asking you to repeat our History of Magic lecture from today at wand point."

"I wish," Lily laughed. "It's just, _I don't_ even know. I mean, I defiantly want in on the Order, but for some reason, James --"

"Can't you see Lily? He just doesn't want you to risk your life. He doesn't want to see --"

"He's a pureblood." That caught Remus off guard.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Don't you get it? He doesn't go day by day, getting teased about his blood. He comes from a wealthy family to begin with. This dark wizard, Voldemort. He means to rid of people with "bad blood." How in the world could James understand how that makes people like us feel? Even you know Remus. _You _of all people do. Having to hide your secret."

"I think he understands well, Lily."

"Very well, maybe he does. But truly, I don't he can fully understand the situation. So who's he to tell me --"

"This isn't just about James, is it?"

"How do you mean?"

"Does this have to do with Severus Snape? Because Lily, you know and I know James only cares for your well being. He – He loves you, Lily."

Lily's head jerked to stare at him. "How do you know?"

"It's so obvious. Every thought he has now, everything he does, he incorporates you into the picture."

"Oh.."

"But back to the Snape theory."

"He is – was my best friend Remus. He still cares for me, I know he does, just as I do him."

"How can you be so sure Lily? Does he say it himself?"

"Well...no, but I just _know _Remus." She said. "I just do." It sounded to her if she were trying to convince herself more than Remus. And he took that in as well.

Remus turned from Lily and stared out towards the lake, staring out farther than the world he could only see.

"Lily," he said, still not turning to look back at her. "I know you love Severus. As a friend yes. But I also know that deep down, you love James. No, don't interrupt. Just hear me out. Deep down, I _know_ you love him. The way I see you looking at him sometimes, the longing on your face, it's quite obvious. Though I can't figure out why you're denying yourself happiness. But now, you have control of James' happiness."

"James'?"

"Can't you see? James will only be happy if he's with you."

Lily looked down, ashamed. "it's just, Severus never liked James. So I feel if I commit with James, I'll be betraying him." Remus turned his head sharply to look at Lily and he leaned in close.

"But what about you, Lily?" He said fiercely, looking her in the eyes. "Look at what Severus is doing to you. He's friends with Avery and Mulciber, along with others you don't like. See? He is doing the same to you. I don't see the difference in the situations."

Lily opened her mouth to say something, but closed it after she couldn't utter a word. Could it be? Could Severus, her best friend Sev, not love her? Had she been so blind all along? Yes, to both.

A feeling washed over Lily. Something that took her a moment to realize what feeling it exactly was: embarrassment. She had been a fool all this time. How could he be so stupid?

"Oh Lily, I'm sorry, whatever I said to hurt your feelings, I didn't --" Remus spluttered after he saw tears coming from Lily's' eyes,. But Lily did something he didn't expect at all. She flung her arms around his neck and _hugged_ him.


End file.
